Elderly man reported to be wandering around Glastonbury

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Police are appealing for information about a missing elderly man, in his late 60s, who was last seen walking into Glastonbury.

The grey haired bearded man was reported to be wandering around the fields at Glastonbury while asking for directions to the pyramid Stage. The police were called after a number of Glastonbury revellers flagged him up to officials.

“He just looked really out of place in his beige suit and red tie,” said Glastonbury regular, Pete, 48 years of age. “He kept banging on about youts. Youts, he kept saying. I have youts on my side. Where are the youts?”

“He had this really intense stare,” said Lisa, another Glastonbury regular. “I’m sure he was on something. Vote for me, he said, and I’ll make sure all beers are free at next year’s Glastonbury. When I asked him how he was going to do that he just tapped his nose and said, we have the money.”

Lisa went on to say how he kept asking her if she’d seen his mate Stormzy anywhere. “Have you seen Stormzy, my mate Stormzy? He just kept on saying it, while doing something with his right hand. I think he was trying to do some sort of, North London, gang sign. I just hope someone finds him so they can get him home safe.”

The elderly man was last seen draped in a white pimp coat, spitting bars around a campfire, about, bitches, bling and bringing down the government.

Naff Laff

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Posted: Jun 24th, 2017 by

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