David Dimbleby to retrain as primary school teacher


After 30 years of persuading politicians to sit still and stop interrupting one another on Question Time, David Dimbleby has announced that he now feels ready to tackle primary school teaching.

‘It’s what I’ve always wanted to do’, he told reporters. ‘Question Time was just part of my teaching practice, donkeys ages ago, and I sort of got stuck there. Primary education is similar – you have all the discipline problems – but it’s also educational. As a teacher I’d have the privilege of watching children grow and develop their minds. Sadly, that doesn’t happen with politicians’.

An education expert commented on Mr Dimbleby’s performance. ‘His voice projection is fine, I like what I’m seeing with his class management. His experience would be better suited to an EBD school – children with Emotional and Behavioural Difficulties. Most politicians look like they have ADHD to me, there’s a lot of Oppositional Defiance Disorder, and several appear to think that fairy tales are true. He’d be great in a special needs setting, or the House of Commons’.

A Government spokesman said he wished Mr Dimbleby well, but pointed out that the Labour representative smells of biscuits and the man from the Liberal Democrats has wet his pants again.

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Posted: Jun 25th, 2017 by

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