Monty, one of the Queen’s five corgis, has publicly admitted that he didn’t want to be a pet of the Royal household. Peer pressure from Willow and Thicket, two of Her Majesty’s other dogs, led to a lifetime of Royal duty, the 13-year-old revealed in Horse &Hound magazine. His dream was to curl up on a sofa in a two-bed maisonette in Preston and watching the Antiques Roadshow with a retired owner who drinks John Smith’s and puts his own bins out.
Speculation that the Queen’s horses were also unhappy about pulling carriages around central London has led to rumours that younger Royals would instead be given an Uber allowance to provide transport around the capital, with the mares being allowed to take early retirement. However, Windsor Castle’s cat, Dexter, has rubbished claims that he is the process of negotiating a redundancy package which would allow him to spend more time with his family and criticised his canine counterpart for breaking from protocol.