Following the Grenfell Tower fire, the Big Bad Wolf has announced that he would normally support any straw- or stick-based construction, but even he felt that tenement cladding was making gingerbread cottages look solid.
‘As a menacing predatory antagonist, I can appreciate the efforts of Kensington Council but there’s such a thing as too evil,’ said Mr Wolf. ‘The only fairy story here, is the illusion of fire safety. It just seems that every tale I hear is literally Grimm.’
As Theresa May promised emergency funds for those affected – essentially a hill of magic beans – Mr Wolf added: ‘Normally I’d suggest a temporary housing solution – maybe involving Grandma’s cottage, but that was already seized to pay for her dementia tax. Oh, and if you are in the area, avoid huffing and puffing – just in case they’ve used asbestos.’