‘Beef Curtains Barbie’ aims to improve girls’ body image


After news that 150 girls under 15 had labiaplasty surgery last year, Mattel has announced a modified Barbie with more realistic genitalia. ‘Young girls have unrealistic expectations of what their vaginas should look like, based on glimpses of porn and their toys,’ said a spokesman. ‘We therefore decided to show them that even Barbie, the model of perfection, can have a twat like an overstuffed taco.’

Mattel initially planned a range of dolls with varying genitals – Chicken Lips Barbie, Tagliatelle Barbie and Chopped Liver Barbie – but then decided to equip a single Beef Curtain model with replaceable plug-in genitals. ‘Just as girls can change Barbie’s clothes, now they can also change her labia, though we advise against combining the Studded Goth plug-in with anything shorter than a knee length skirt.’

Rumours abound that the traditional Barbie crotch with no aperture at all will still be available as a plug-in for markets in Egypt and Somalia. Mattel said: ‘Our lips are sealed.’


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Posted: Jul 4th, 2017 by

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