Trump-Macron handshake enters third day

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The farewell handshake between President Trump and his French counterpart Emmanuel Macron has entered its third day with no signs of either man relinquishing their grip. The handshake began on the Champs-Elysees on Friday after Trump attended Bastille Day celebrations with President Macron.

‘I’ve never seen anything like it’ says Le Monde’s Hubert Virenque. ‘At first we assumed Macron didn’t want to let go of Trump’s hand in case he made a grab for Mrs Macron’s nether regions. But it soon became clear that neither man wanted to appear weaker by letting go first’.

As darkness fell specially insulated blankets were wrapped around the presidents as they continued to stare at each other with fixed grins on their faces. Around five o’clock in the morning diplomats agreed a brief cessation to allow both men to use the bathroom and have breakfast before the handshake resumed at 5.30AM.

‘It’s a bizarre spectacle’ continued Virenque. ‘But it’s comforting to know that while Trump is embroiled in this never-ending handshake he’s well away from the nuclear button and the world for now is a safer place’.

Meanwhile organisers of the Tour de France, which is due to finish on the Champs-Elysees next Sunday, have confirmed that if the handshake has not concluded riders will be advised to treat the presidents as a roundabout.

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Posted: Jul 15th, 2017 by

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