Fans in shock over revelation new Doctor Who is from Yorkshire

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Fans of the popular TV science fiction show Doctor Who have reacted with horror and dismay to the news that the latest incarnation of the Doctor is from Yorkshire.

A leaked script for the first episode of the new series shows the Doctor reprogramming the Tardis so that it can only travel within Yorkshire, ‘since there’s nowhere else worth goin’ ter’. Later the Doctor’s assistant wonders if there’s something wrong with the time travel module since they always seem to arrive in the 1970s, until the Doctor explains that in Yorkshire, it’s always the 1970s.

Locals are initially bemused by the blue police box that’s appeared outside the Arndale Centre on a wet Wednesday afternoon, wondering “‘ow much it costs ter run”, eventually dismissing it as “some rubbish that’s turned their ‘eads down in that London”. They also notice how small it seems to be, and before the Doctor can explain that it’s actually much bigger inside, they get lost in competitive reminiscences about how small the houses they grew up in were. “We used ter dream of livin’ in a police box…”

Series producers say the Doctor’s new Yorkie identity has encouraged them to introduce new villains, a primitive but dangerously aggressive race known as the Mancs. Only distinguishable from normal humans by their limited vocabulary, Pretty Green clothes and terrible haircuts, the Mancs come close to taking over the universe until, at the crucial moment, the two brothers who lead them get in a strop and spend their time slagging each other off on Twitter instead.


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Posted: Jul 17th, 2017 by

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