A teenager from London has pleaded with her parents to stop using emojis. 15 year-old Katy Smith has threatened legal action if she receives one more flying dolphin or monkey covering his eyes. ‘Actual grown-ups with jobs and mortgages should not be sending wink faces, balloons or slices of pizza,’ the daughter said, after explaining to her mother that emoticon selection was a demanding discipline.
‘When adults attempt to use emojis,’ she continued, ‘the irony is not quite there, because the trying is so painfully evident. Their use of martini glasses, ghosts and avocados is a little too self-conscious, a little too pleased with itself. My father has lost the ability to attempt any nuance of tone using words.’
Digital image experts have warned that adults use emojis too literally, and can spend up to 10 hours each day browsing for the most relevant icon. In one extreme case, a 42 year-old father went without food or sleep for 3 days before selecting a purple devil with horns. ‘My parents are trying to adopt a language which is not their own,’ concluded Katy. ‘The effect can be quite chilling. It was fine when it used to be the occasional smiley face, but now it has escalated to a pile of poo with eyes.’