Northerners to be given HS2 viewing gallery

rocket

A viewing gallery the size of a football stadium is to be erected near Liverpool to allow the manual workers of the industrial north and their families to view approaching high-speed electrified trains arriving from London.  Steam engines will collect spectators to form a shuttle service on Mondays and Fridays from destinations north of the city.

The government is hopeful that the anger expressed by the peasant population around the Mersey conurbation will be appeased if they can at least get a flavour of what it might be like to travel at speed.  A number of travelling fairs have expressed interest in semi-permanent presentations around the arena with bear-baiting and a bearded lady already expected to form part of the entertainment.

‘Most northerners travel by traditional horse and cart, or on foot, by ‘Shanks Pony’, as it is commonplace for them to be unemployed and for time to not be an issue’, said a government spokesman today.

The high speed link will bring the journey time from Liverpool to London to just 12 minutes, meaning that Carlisle to London will take just three days and 12 minutes from 2020.

 

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Posted: Jul 25th, 2017 by

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