Scientists working at the CERN particle accelerator have discovered an entirely new particle, the Scaramuccion, which they admit they almost missed because it only existed for such an infinitessimally short period of time.
They say the particle only comes into being in conditions of extremely high desperation and corruption. During its brief life, it separates from another particle with which it has just combined to produce a third, does a strange movement that they described as “the fandango”, and then ceases to exist entirely.
Scientists were initially baffled as to how to classify the new particle. Some thought it might be a type of quark, though clearly not from the “charm” side of the family.
However, a group of Italian-American scientists, led by Rizzo and Tommy the Microscope, insisted that whatever fancy name you give it, to them it would always just be “Tony from the neighbourhood”, adding that it was “just a poor boy from a poor family”. They then demanded a meeting with the Chief Administrator of CERN, telling him “This is a pretty nice particle accelerator ya got here – be an awful shame if anything happened to it…”