People in Crimewatch reconstructions ‘just actors’, programme makers confirm

'Have nightmares, don't sleep well.'

The BBC today issued a statement emphasising that the people shown apparently committing crimes in the “reconstructions” segment of its popular Crimewatch series are just actors, performing a prearranged series of words and actions they have committed to memory.

This follows reports that a number of people, whom the producers describe as ‘unbelievable f*ckwits’, regularly call in identifying the actors, sometimes even citing other programmes they have appeared in to help the authorities track them down.

‘I mean, we even give the names of the bloody actors ourselves in the closing credits,’ said presenter Kirsty Young. ‘Why do these bell-ends keep ringing in telling us who they are?’

Concerns have been expressed that callers with genuinely helpful information about the crime sometimes can’t get through because of the avalanche of douchebags who can’t get their heads around the basic principle of a reconstruction. One frequent caller, whose lungs Young said she would like to ‘rip out through his stupid, drooling gob’, says he has even equipped himself with a copy of Spotlight, the industry directory with a photo of every actor, to make identification easier.

Asked whether even a hopeless f*cktard like him could surely understand what an actor was, he responded: ‘But why should having been on the telly give someone licence to punch an old lady in the face during a post office robbery? It’s one rule for celebrities and another for the rest of us. It’s not right.’

He added that the programme makers themselves were at fault for not intervening while such a brutal assault was taking place right in front of them but was ‘relieved to see that she was up and about again a few days later on Coronation Street’.


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Posted: Aug 5th, 2017 by

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