After his retirement from all official royal duties, the Duke of Edinburgh has announced he has now taken on a new role as a fulltime shit-stirrer. Using the internet moniker ‘HisRoyalTrollness95’ he has set up a YouTube channel to broadcast his hilarious gags to the world.
His first post of a mischievous Duke dressed in a slinky little black dress and blonde wig, telling the Queen he’d been living a lie, was in transition and would now only answer to the name Mx Phillipa Winzah has been seen over 3 million times.
Further internet hilarity ensued when the devilish Duke gave Jeremy Corbyn a massive wedgie at a State dinner, prompting tears from the Labour leader and a whiny protest to the Queen. He also went to the West End in full royal regalia, started guzzling Tyske Polish special brew then harassed passers-by for spare change.
The Duke explained his move by saying there was no way he could simply put aside his life’s work of taking the piss. ‘There are over 7300 different ethnic groups on this planet and there’s still a few I haven’t managed to really piss orf. I’m not stopping now, no f*cking way.’
Prince Philip is also thought to be considering an offer from the Daily Mail to become their fact checker. “Initially I said that I didn’t want any more responsibilities.”, said his royal highness, “But when it was explained that the job was simply looking at the front page and saying ‘tut’, ‘really?’ or ‘for god’s sake’, I realised that I was going to be paid for my hobby.”
daneade and apepper