The Royal Society Of Low Emission Street damage (RSOLES) has announced plans to end the use of petrol bombs in the next 23 years.
Barry Neanderthal of Bermondsey explained. ‘We encourage all responsible rioters to consider their carbon footprints, if you look back to the 2012 riots when we felt we did some of our finest work, it becomes concerning that some of the people who set fire to cars might have created some pollution.’
RSOLES’ research into alternatives started last week, as they urge trouble makers to consider the use of equivalent fuels.
‘The thing with diesel bombs is as well as being bad for the environment, they’re slow to ignite and cause prolonged chaos as people slip on the spilled fuel that never evaporates,’ said Barry. ‘For those thinking of starting a riot this weekend, as it stands our official recommendation is a magnifying glass and a lot of patience.’
apepper with hat tip to Titus