‘Dismaland’ does not start as soon as you leave the M5, insist tourist board

dismaland

Officials from the Weston-Super-Mare tourist board have advised visitors heading to the town that Banksy’s dystopian nightmare bemusement park does not start ‘as soon as you leave Junction 21 on the M5 motorway’, but is located around five miles away in a disused lido down on the beach front.

‘There has been some confusion amongst tourists heading for the bemusement park with many assuming the attraction starts the moment you leave the slip road’, explained tour guide Helen James. ‘No, the slip road is not the beginning of Dismaland, that’s just the beginning of Weston-Super-Mare, they are a totally different things. Seriously, they are. I repeat, they are totally different.’

Ms James also went on to explain that the crumbling high rise blocks seen littering the background on some newsreels were not some recreation of the attack on the World Trade Centre but were merely rented holiday apartments. She was also at pains to point out that the seafront at WSM was not meant to be some bleak imagining of what of New Orleans looked like after the levees broke, but just that the tide had gone out and left it a bit muddy. ‘It’s always like that’, she said.

She continued: ‘The zombie-like creatures shuffling aimlessly around the amusement arcades are not meant to represent extras from The Walking Dead, and those people who look as though they are suffering radiation burns following the nuclear attack on Nagasaki are also not a part of Banksy’s dystopian nightmare, they are mostly from Birmingham and are here on holiday’.

But the warning came too late for some visitors heading for the attraction with many turning back after just a few minutes stuck on the B3440. ‘It was horrible’, said parent Holly Burnside from Bristol. ‘I had to cover the children’s eyes and sing nursery rhymes to take their minds off what they had seen. They should put signs up warning people. I don’t know how Banksy can sleep at night if this is what goes on in his head’.

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Posted: Aug 11th, 2017 by

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