Afghanistan replaces Hawaii as 50th State

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With further increases in army deployment promised, Afghanistan’s U.S. population is now so large, that this Islamic Republic has successfully applied for statehood. Not wanting to deal with the administration costs of redesigning the Stars and Stripes, the Trump administration has agreed that it would be simpler to delete Hawaii from the list of ‘dubious places claiming to be next to New York’.

The Afghan peoples cautiously welcomed their new nationality, saying that they looked forward to hosting the Superbowl and that widespread obesity would be a ‘welcome change’. Some however are worried that having experienced years of Taliban rule, that a Trump Presidency might be too extreme.

A spokesman for Afghanistan’s beleaguered tourist board said: ‘We have all the warmth of Hawaii but with none of the annoying surfers. Admittedly our version of Hawaiian shirts come in a vivid array of browns, but we do have plenty of what Americans really want – oil pipelines’.

Meanwhile the outgoing State Governor of Hawaii said he was open to offers and would be interested in taking the UK’s spot in the EU – if Europe could handle the novelty of an island that ‘didn’t complain all the time’. A Trump spokesman said: ‘Today we welcome our new 50th State – not all wars have to end badly – and look forward to our 51st…North Korea’.

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Posted: Aug 23rd, 2017 by

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