Southerners wondering if God actually doesn’t like them very much

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Fiery preachers from the Southern states of America have begun to wonder why God seems to visit them with Biblical plagues so much more often than people He should hate much more. ‘Twisters, hurricanes, floods and always here in the God-fearin’ South,’ declaimed the Reverend Elijah J. Poontang of Tennessee. ‘What about them damn Yankees, with their evil race-mixin’, gay marriage-acceptin’ ways? Why don’t they ever get the roofs ripped off their houses?’

‘Ah heard some of ’em even pernounce the g at the end of words, and we know how much the good Lord hates that. We’re the ones who are tirelessly doin’ God’s work, promotin’ racial hatred, stoppin’ them coloureds votin’, screwin’ our cousins – just like it says in the Bible, I should think…’

Ya Basta

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Posted: Aug 29th, 2017 by

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