Cow left in Asda by protesting farmer promoted to store manager


A dairy cow which was left in an Asda supermarket in Middlesbrough last month has been put in charge of running the store, it has emerged. Daisy had been taken to the store by farmer Kevin Pritchard as part of a nationwide protest against falling milk prices but has proven to be the best placed candidate to run the store.

‘Kevin left me in the shop while he went off to talk to the local journos,’ said Daisy. ‘When there was a bit of an altercation he was manhandled off the premises, leaving me stranded in Aisle 6, Dairy, Eggs & Cheese. I felt a bit spare so when an old lady asked me if I knew which aisle the Steradent was kept in I took her round to Aisle 2, Toiletries & Feminine Hygiene, and it started from there. My colleagues call me Daisy even though my real name is Melissa Hargreaves, but it seems to make them happy so I don’t bother to correct them.’

Pritchard returned to the store to collect Daisy the following day and was surprised to see her behind the cheese counter, kitted out in a specially made Asda uniform. ‘I told him straight I was not going back to having my bits yanked at every morning at the crack of dawn and unless he wanted to buy some of the Roquefort we had on special that day then he was more than welcome to do one,’ she said.

When Pritchard became abusive, the police were called and he was once again escorted from the premises. Daisy’s fellow workers said that they were not at all surprised by her fast-track promotion to store manager.

‘She’s hard-working and conscientious and less of a cow than the last boss,’ said Maureen Kay. ‘Also when we’re running low on milk she’s always happy to help out. It may seem odd having a Holstein Friesian as your line manager but the staff love her because she’s always ready to listen and offer a few words of encouragement, or just a friendly pat on the back.’

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Posted: Sep 6th, 2017 by

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