Fugitive Mr Kipling brownie production line robot ‘still at large’


Mr Kipling has asked the public to be on the lookout for one of its advanced AI Brownie making robots, which has escaped from a factory near St John’s Wood Road, London.

‘Usually we keep them bolted to the floor, but this one managed to free itself, and appears to be attempting to pass itself off as the Prime Minister,’ he said in an emergency briefing.
Suspicious were raised after an impersonation to a BBC interviewer culminated with it feeding him brownies and repeating ‘I am not a robot’ on automaton.

Eyewitnesses say the robot spent a while offering people ‘exceedingly good cakes’, before harassing local punks for their clothes and boots, and then fleeing the scene on a motorcycle.

‘Yes, we are worried it has become self-aware, and seems to be trying to manipulate time,’ confirmed Mr Kipling, ‘it’s already tried to take us back to the cretaceous era by handing the balance of power to the DUP, and now there’s evidence it is trying to re-write history.’

The robot was last seen wandering the corridors of Whitehall trying to convince people that it got a majority in the last general election.


Share this story...

Posted: Sep 10th, 2017 by

Click for more article by ..

© 2020 NewsBiscuit | Powered by Deluxe Corporation | Stories (RSS) | T & C | Privacy | Disclaimer