The BBC last night announced that they have won a hard-fought bidding war with rival TV companies to secure the rights to screen recorded highlights of Division 2 referees combing their hair in the mirror in the hall before leaving home on match days.
A spokesman for The Beeb told reporters: “This is a massive coup for the BBC and one that we hope will give licence fee payers full value for money”.
“We will now be able to show exclusive 5-minute clips of senior match officials combing, or indeed, brushing their hair, just hours before kick-off.”
“The footage will be screened at the end of Match Of The Day and will include full commentary by our very own John Motson, although he won’t be doing it next season due to his retirement, so we might get Mark Lawrenson or Robbie Savage to take over the slot. It depends on how much they want for it.”
It is believed that the BBC bid over £15.00 for the exclusive rights, beating off stiff competition from British Eurosport, who may now have to be content with sound-only, recorded combing highlights in conjunction with Radio Albania. They will also show some classic archive footage of referees’ comb-overs and mullets from the past fifty years.
This move represents the most exciting coup by The Beeb since BBC Yorkshire won the exclusive rights to screen live and uninterrupted coverage of Alan Shearer’s wife hoovering the living room on Cup Final day in 2003.