Scientists in Pyongyang have agreed that their wayward missile system, may be due to the fact they ‘couldn’t hit sand if they fell off a camel’. Frustrated by their lack of accuracy, they have tried a myriad of solutions; including laser guidance, bifocals and, finally, just ‘moving the waste basket closer’.
Still struggling to hit a bovine buttock with a proverbial shovel, North Korea continues to belligerently hurl debris into the Pacific Ocean, much like Donkey Kong. Missile after missile has been sent spiralling off into nowhere, reminiscent of the forlorn ejaculate of a frustrated teenager.
North Korean officials had originally claimed that their erratic targeting was an attempt to hit a wasp that had been causing a distraction, somewhere off the coast of Japan. Meanwhile South Korea responded, in kind, by firing two ballistic missiles into the sea – because nothing says scary, like a load of dead fish.
Kim Jong Un has said he expects his Generals to learn to knock the skin off a rice pudding by the end of the month or face the consequences. One frantic official admitted: ‘We just can’t hit anything. Right now, if we fired into a sea of roses we’d still come up smelling of Trump’.