A manhunt is underway for the individual who left an ‘unexploded piece of bullshit’ on social media. Security services say that the makeshift tweet had all the hallmarks of a ‘homemade turd’ and that devastation could have been far worse if Mr Trump had been armed with a dictionary or a modicum of wit.
Police say someone had left a White House laptop unattended, causing commuters in the vicinity of Parsons Green station to run for cover at the first sound of a keyboard being tapped. Subsequently other cities are on high alert, with the public warned to be vigilant for Trump on Instagram, Grindr and Mumsnet.
MI5 feel confident they have identified the owner of the tweet by his signature ‘The Donald’ and the phrase ‘bigly terrorist’. Meanwhile Prime Minister, Theresa May, spent the evening exploring her options with COBRA and a range of other beers.
Trump is known for his Eastern European connections and links to religious fundamentalists – like Fox News. A Home Office spokeswoman confirmed: ‘Mr Trump could strike again at any time. We consider him to be less of a ‘lone wolf’ and more of a ‘solo shih tzu’.