Australian actress and performance artist Gabrielle Miller, made famous by her appearance in a million Trivago ads, has been chosen to lead Britain’s team in the forthcoming Brexit negotiations.
‘We did our best to come up with a coherent strategy, setting out exactly what we want to get from the negotiations and what we’re prepared to concede,’ said a spokesman for Liam Fox. ‘But when that didn’t work, we thought we’d better just get a pretty face to distract the opposition.’
‘After all, it’s worked wonders for Trivago – the ad tells you literally nothing about them, but her face guarantees that a lot of people look at it and see their name, and their sales go up as a result.’
Early indications are that the strategy is working. ‘I was about to make a brilliant point about how les rosbifs can’t expect to cherry-pick what they like about the EU and leave the rest,’ complained EU Negotiator, ‘when suddenly she smiled, and those little dimples in her cheeks… well, whatever I was going to say went right out of my head. I think I may even have agreed that Normandy is now part of Kent.’
Theresa May said she was happy with the new strategy, but wonders if they could have avoided Brexit altogether by putting a picture of Miller next to the Remain box on the ballot paper.