‘Ooh Jeremy Corbyn’ song set to be Xmas Number 1

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The soaring and inspirational tune, whose lyrics go ‘Ooh Jeremy Corbyn’ repeatedly for 98 lines, has moved hard-core Labourites to tears, and makes Dianne Abbot weep bitter tears as she asks herself over and over again why she ever let Jerry ‘The Catch’ Corbyn slip through her fingers.  Then she remembers she’s Shadow Home Secretary and nearly wets herself laughing.

Corbyn himself is said to have to have heavily contributed to the track’s popularity after buying 20,000 physical units and downloading it over 300,000 times, as well as having it streaming continuously on repeat in his Islington pad.

He said the monotonous, moronic chant has rekindled his love for politics and for himself.  ‘When I heard 80,000 drugged-up poshos chanting it at Glastonbury I all of a sudden realised again how great I actually am,’ said the Saviour of Humanity.  ‘Later when I was doing some Mandy with Stormzy, whatever that is, I think it’s some herbal supplement that’s good for your joints, he told me that mandem thought I was well-penge and defo not a paigon like Theresa.  I’ve no idea what it means but I’m sure it’s good.  Me and Stormzy are well-tight’

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Posted: Sep 28th, 2017 by

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