Hundreds of Playboy bunnies released into the wild

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Following the death of Playboy founder Hugh Hefner, hundreds of bunny-eared members of his harem have been set free by the custodians of the former publishing mogul’s mansion.

The models and hostesses were released into the woods close to the mansion, where it is thought many have joined former bunnygirls, some dating back to the 1950’s, who have broken free and established a warren on the edge of the estate.  However, fears have grown for the group, some of whom have been sighted looking vacant, emaciated and barely able to keep their clothes on.  It’s feared the transition will be just too much of them, with many expected to face the winter without a reality show.

Emergency beauticians have been sent out to help the former concubines adjust to life outside.  One told us: ‘Life in the Playboy mansion was harsh, with it’s scantily-clad captives invariably kept sideways and impaled by staples.  These girls will naturally be finding it hard to adapt to life outside of captivity, with many already offering to present pop videos to passers-by in return for scraps. Others stalk the countryside on roller-skates in search of ageing millionaires, risking regular attacks from moral guardians.  Speaking only in monosyllables, they are unable to string together an intelligent sentence – however, many do have Twitter accounts.’

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Posted: Sep 29th, 2017 by

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