The Government has announced today a deal for 350 million pounds a week with the popular and effective tummy tablet to win the advertising and television rights for Brexit. A government spokesperson said the deal had been under discussion for a while but, after Theresa May’s Florence speech, most people were ‘properly shitting themselves’ about either the likelihood of a delayed or water-downed Brexit and, therefore, the’synergy’ with the well-known treatment was an ideal opportunity to take.
From next week, customers will see David Davies sporting a baseball cap with the company’s logo, Liam Fox will have branding on his ministerial car and Michael Gove is unlikely to have any alterations made as he already has the natural look of a man holding back on a large turd.
The company also plans to re-shoot Boris Johnson’s Olympic high wire escapade as a commercial, with the jolly denouement of the ex-Major spraying observers below with excreta as a warning about what might happen without using the drug or to the whole country if Brexit goes wrong. The company has also delivered a life-time supply of the tablet to our skittish Prime-minister just before she readies herself for her speech at conference. The company is currently in discussions with number 10 (and not number 2) about whether the Prime-Minister will be wearing her famous brown leather trousers when she gives her speech as they think they is another perfect opportunity to promote their product.