Puerto Rico says Trump ‘not a real catastrophe’

Despite mainland US having been declared a state of democratic emergency, citizens of Puerto Rico insist that there have been far worse political disasters; not least of which was Hurricane Sarah (Palin) which destroyed parts of John McCain in 2008. Comparatively, they argue, President Trump is ‘slightly better’ than Nero, King Leopold II and James Corden.

Aid packages have been sent including copies of Plato’s ‘Republic’ and ‘How to vote for dummies’. While the Red Cross has set up temporary voting booths throughout the eastern seaboard, handing out supplies, such as – liberal wet blankets and canned goods – like the laughter track from ‘Upstart Crow’.

Many in Puerto Rico are without water and electricity, which they say makes them a much more informed electorate than those on the mainland, with their excess of beer and Fox News. They say that Trump economics is nothing compared to the industrial chaos inflicted by Philip Green, (the Pol Pot of pension management).

Although millions have been affected by Trump, Puerto Ricans say that the damage is less widespread than a boxed set of ‘Mrs Brown’s Boys’. Said one refuge of Hurricane Maria: ‘You want to see a real disaster, just vote ‘Trump 2020’.’

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Posted: Oct 5th, 2017 by

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