America shocked as automatic rifle used to kill people


There was surprise and outrage today as an American man used an assault rifle and shot dead multiple innocent people. Bystanders described their shock as actual bullets flew out of the gun’s chamber and did serious harm to real people. Up until this point, guns had been seen as peaceful accessories, largely decorative and in no way intended to cause harm.

The gunman, described as a ‘lone wolf with mental problems’; had been the leader of a local community group of gun owners named The Las Vegas Responsible Gun Owners Club. ‘We just didn’t see this coming,’ said one member of the man who owned 60 different guns and had a garage full of ammunition. ‘The signs just weren’t there.’

His wife who has been in hiding since the attack described him as a “loving and thoughtful husband, who just happened to have a hobby involving military grade weaponry. He loved ten pin bowing and there’s not really much difference if you think about it’, she added, Tammy Gershon, 48, from Boulder City, commented that she’d heard that ‘guns don’t kill people, people kill people’, so she thought this was probably ‘fake news’.

There has been a collective sigh of relief across the road at the Knife & Baton Club. They have believed for years that they have been castigated as the bad guys. Owner Jim Barratt said: ‘It’s clear now that at the very worst one of us could only take down a handful of innocent bystanders; it’s so much safer for all involved. We believe every home should have a large hunting knife or 75.’

The NRA issued a statement declaring that the background checks which have been recommended by some commentators are a non-starter: ‘He was a white man with an obsession with firearms and an intense love of the American flag – there were really no indicators that would have marked him out as a possible mass murderer.’


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Posted: Oct 8th, 2017 by

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