Leader of the Opposition Jeremy Corbyn is in a stable condition in hospital after suffering an uncontrollable three-day spasm of laughter last week. Neighbours first became concerned on the Monday and when paramedics broke down the door on the Wednesday, during the Prime Minister’s speech, he was rolling around in front of his TV, pointing at the screen and barely able to breathe.
‘We gave emergency aid by forcing him to watch Mrs Brown’s Boys, but even this had no effect,’ one said. ‘We got there just after the P45 prank and already he couldn’t move. We got him away just seconds before the ‘F’ fell off the slogan. It was a very close call.’
Staff are under strict orders not to mention the Tory conference while Mr Corbyn recovers. They have been chanting ‘Oh Jeremy Corbyn’ at him and reading Das Kapital by his bedside to try and snap him out of his condition and rediscover his old, serious self.