Calls for background checks before states can buy nuclear weapons


Growing awareness of the dangers posed by nuclear weapons has led to calls for ‘thorough background checks’ before states are allowed to buy them. ‘We need to be sure a state doesn’t have a history of using nukes,’ said a US spokesman. ‘And there has to be a three-day waiting period, so we know whoever ends all life on Earth isn’t just making an emotional decision they might later regret. No, not America – that’s different.’

However, the owner of a nuke store said the new regulations were unworkable. ‘Only the other day I was selling some ICBMs to a Chinese guy, seemed totally legit, when I looked out of the window and saw a group of Koreans waiting in his car. At least, I think they were Koreans – they all look alike to me, especially after their faces have melted off in the 5,000 degree heat of the initial blast.’

Share this story...

Posted: Oct 12th, 2017 by

Click for more article by ..

© 2018 NewsBiscuit | Powered by Deluxe Corporation | Stories (RSS) | T & C | Privacy | Disclaimer