It’s a story of sex, abuse, rape, money, fame, ambition, slinky underwear, mind control and full body massage, set against the world’s most glamorous backdrop: Hollywood. And more money and sex. It’s the story of a man troubled by his own out of control desires, but untroubled about the massive wealth he is able to spend on beautiful, weeping, near naked millionaire starlets who are hungry for one thing. But not his one, unfortunately.
In fact, they are hungry for two things. Fame and glory, and, oh hang on, three things: a cheeseburger with fries and a chocolate shake too. But they know they can only have the first two, because the second three wouldn’t fit in with their newly released diet book ‘Eat Yourself Famous’ ($39.99 Simon and Schuster)
Arithmetic aside, the movie is to feature scenes in which flimsily-clad, ultra-famous and often blonde heroines in designer bedrooms bravely resist the monster’s clutches and enormous cheque book and 24-hour online personal banking, subject to status. Johnny Depp, Brad Pitt and Benedict Cumberbatch are in the frame to play the notorious mogul monster they call Frankenweinstein. Half-man, half-lothario, half ruthless studio boss, he realises his life doesn’t add up. In one explicit scene, he confesses he rarely feels himself, although he often successfully invites Tinseltown’s most attractive women to do so on screen.
Frankenweinstein knows he is out of control of his own libido and his own lilo, which floats serenely on his Paul Holllywood-style mansion’s pool, oblivious to the frank scenes going on in the bedrooms above. He has flashbacks and occasionally flashfronts of his evil deeds. These pulsating images of celebrity depravity and vice and vice versa cast him into a terrible despond. His PR people tell the Hollywood trade bible and sugary cereal selection Variety that he wants to repent the terrible behaviour he so vehemently denies.
His way of saying sorry is to produce a movie in which Daniel Craig or Leonardo de Caprio play the troubled and disgraced mogul. Both have an amazing similarity to the real thing. Female parts have yet to be discussed, although producers have reassured reporters female parts will be clearly visible on screen, at least in the trailer. The movie will be produced by Harvey Weinstein.