Baron Greenback guilty of molesting Dangermouse

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Baron Greenback, the slimy hunchbacked toad and darling of the British establishment, has been found posthumously guilty of sexually molesting cartoon rodent Dangermouse. The incidents, which stretch across Greenback’s entire career, from his time as Lord Privy Seal to becoming Tory leader, Prime Minister and Father of the House before finally being created Baron in 1992, are thought mostly to have comprised seedy fumblings in hotel rooms.

A bland, bespectacled civil servant known only as Penfold admitted he had introduced Dangermouse to the amphibian, but denied money had changed hands or that he was in any sense the mouse’s ‘pimp’. A spokesman for Greenback, who died in 2005, insisted that any sexual encounters with Dangermouse were entirely consensual, ‘as were any with other rodents or small mammals which may come to light in future, despite all the nuts and berries we’ve given the greedy little sods to shut them up’.

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Posted: Oct 14th, 2017 by

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