In a statement that has stunned the broadcasting world, the BBC has announced that Adolf Hitler, Leader of the Third Reich, will come out of hiding and make his first televisual appearance on the One Show.
In a move that is unlikely to surprise regular viewers who have increasingly seen the show structured around maddeningly epileptic swings of tone, content and feature focus, it has also been announced that the episode featuring the Fuhrer will also see a reunion song from the 1980’s family group Five Star and a segment with Aled Jones asking an ebola survivor what their tips are for which till to go to first in a busy supermarket.
It is rumoured that the ex-Chancellor of Germany, who is still incognito in an undisclosed South American location, is a bit of an avid channel-flicker who happened to come across the show’s recent interviews with May, Corbyn, Mel Brooks and Clinton and came to the conclusion that the programme would be an ideal opportunity to make people see the kinder side of a dictator who, even though he sought to exterminate millions, still makes his own jam, puts out his own bins and has some cute pictures of himself at ten years old wearing lederhosen which are bound to put a smile on the face of any 7pm audience. The murderous villain has also been prepping for the notoriously difficult ‘what is the naughtiest thing you have ever done?’ question and has settled on the answer ‘running through the wheat fields of Eastern European….with fifty three Panzer divisions and unlimited 75mm to 200mm guns and rocket launchers’.
Critics have already called the booking an abomination but were quickly silenced when reminded of the horror of Chris Evans’s hosting of the show during the Friday slot. The BBC has also promised that, considering the controversy that the episode is likely to arouse, Matt Baker will use his special octave lower ‘serious voice’ that he has used in the past when talking about the demise of the red squirrel and when Bill Oddie came on the show and discussed his depression and everyone felt slightly awkward and got a tad teary as you could tell the poor bugger still wasn’t 100% right.