Hillary Clinton strangles Bald Eagle

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In what is being described as another ‘bizarre’ attempt to sabotage her own campaign, Hillary Clinton has desecrated a series of beloved US symbols, including punching a bison, setting fire to the Stars & Stripes and spitting at Jerry Seinfield. The Presidential hopeful seems determined to make a series of unprovoked errors, not least of which was agreeing to Bill hosting a sleepover for a group of Girl Guides.

Short of dressing the Statue of Liberty in a Burka, Mrs Clinton has lurched from one PR blunder to another. Commented one journalist: ‘The Presidential race is entering the final furlong and if Mrs Clinton was horse – and before you can say Benghazi – she’s gone from bookie’s favourite to an ingredient at the local glue factory’.

Having already become the unwitting focus of various health scares and FBI investigations, Mrs Clinton’s campaign is as orderly as a Marx Brothers movie. Her lead in the polls has been cut as video emerges of her lighting a cigar with a rolled up Bill of Rights, then proceeding to take a dump on the White House lawn.

Hillary’s erratic behaviour has seen her sing the Star-Spangled Banner in Korean, dress as Oprah Winfrey for Halloween and pebble-dash Mount Rushmore. Remarked a flummoxed advisor: ‘She keeps doing the unthinkable – like making Donald Trump electable’.

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Posted: Oct 16th, 2017 by

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