Rising levels of crime in police and legal dramas can only be tackled with more investment in technology, particularly for bobbies on the beat and detectives who look like they are straight out of central casting, TV executives argued today.
‘Increases in murders, violence and psychologically motivated crimes that are revealed over 5 episodes continue to plague the sector’, sighed Mike Jones, one TV executive. ‘New series of Midsomer Murders and Death in Paradise aren’t going to help either.’
‘Too much detective work is undermined by basic technology problems’, continued Jones. ‘Regular mobile phone black spots in disused warehouses just when officers need to make a call for back up is a prevalent problem, as is unpredictable phone batteries that run out just as police officers are revealing to colleagues where the criminal has hid the kidnap victim before coming back to lifeto make an annoyingly loud ring when officers are trying to hide from a villain in a scrapyard’.
Executives have called for a rollout of the latest technologies used in Bull and the last series of the Blacklist to give detectives a fighting chance of solving crimes before the 3rd advert break, a crucial industry benchmark. Criminal gangs in TV crime dramas will also be given higher spec computers so that detectives will be able to download all the vital files onto a memory stick in no more than a 30 second segment, well before the crook returns to the conveniently empty room.
Until these changes come in executives are advising detectives looking for fast broadband speeds to head for the data analytics and behavioural science teams, present now in every single crime drama. ‘These guys are a bit geeky, with off the wall hobbies and an unrequited love for their bosses’, noted Jones. ‘However, they also have instantaneous access to all information about everyone in the world and don’t have to worry about data protection or freedom of information protocols, just like the Met in the good old days’.