For decades, the pen industry has been using women as plentiful source of blue ink; with a typical ratio, of one menstruation to a thousand ballpoints. Sadly ‘Bodyform’ sanitary towels are insisting that ladies abandon their traditional blue hue for an unconvincing red, just like Tony Blair.
As we now know, human female DNA has 98% in common with cuttlefish – both of whom are capable of releasing cephalopod ink, while keeping a budgerigar amused. Scientists and publicans have observed that the average woman will derive her vivid blue excreta from drinking up to four pints of blue curacao a day, or exchanging bodily fluids with royalty.
Blue menstruation can often be seen as one of the last taboo areas, despite Picasso using at as painting medium (1901-1904). More recent application for blues have included coolant, anti-freeze and Muddy Waters’ back catalogue.
For many woman there will be a period of adjustment, adjusting their period. Now all adverts will be required to show realistic menstruation, with men looking confused; horrified and without a jot of sympathy; however advertising executives insist the new adverts are ‘spot on’.
Hat tip to Dick Everyman