Washington dog pound mutts breathe sighs of relief after Trump snub

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Following the decision by President Trump not to have a pet in the Whitehouse, Washington’s stray dog community has breathed a collective sigh of relief.

None more so than two terrified Washington dog pound residents, Coco the Mexican Chihuahua and Abdul the Afghan hound. Both have now come out of hiding, and have taken their names off the voluntary euthanasia list.

‘I would sooner choose death’, said a rabid Abdul, ‘than live with the great orange Potentate!’

The furry friends have also taken out an injunction against one junior veterinary nurse, an avid Trump supporter, who told them that the President was going to be their new daddy. She is also accused of taunting the pair by waving fluffy Trump figures at them and saying ‘SAD, SAD, SAD’, over and over again.

‘The final straw came’, said an embittered Abdul, ‘when she put a ‘Make America Great Again’ baseball cap on and inserted a thermometer up my arse without any lube shouting ‘Who’s your daddy?”.

Speaking from his new home with Lady Gaga, Abdul however, has since praised the President for giving dogs the cold shoulder. ‘As an Afghan myself, and I know Coco as a Mexican would agree, I can’t thank President Trump enough for ignoring our plight, just like he’s done with scores of issues across the World. The stress of being delivered to the White House into the tiny hands of a paranoid narcissist who has the same hair as I have has been a total nightmare.’

Coco, who has since moved to a secret address close to the Mexican border, said, ‘Casa de perro a la casa blanca? No gracias!’.

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Posted: Oct 22nd, 2017 by

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