Systematic care home cruelty is about to be revolutionised by new disruptive technology which provides automated affordable negligence twenty four hours a day.
The combined effect of longer life spans and the breakdown of the family unit has created a surge in demand for assisted living. But many of Britain’s unemployed refuse to take a job caring for other people, because they’d rather collect benefits and blame “Tory Cuts’ for every failing in their life. Sadly, there aren’t enough Eastern Europeans to step in and fill the breach – and most of them have disturbing levels of empathy and motivation. As a result there is a massive shortage of home grown gerontophobes.
As a result, many care home residents are getting through the day unscathed, with none of their possessions being stolen. Many are actually finishing their meals before their plates are snatched away from them by an impatient jobsworth. According to one shocking piece of research, 75% of residents in care homes identified their status to researchers as ‘mustn’t grumble’.
“The new Neglig-o-bots could bring traditional British care home cruelty back, delivering obnoxiousness from the bathroom to the bedside,” said Jason Nerd, CEO of Silicon Startup.