A spokesman representing Britain’s photographic groups today announced that their members had collectively decided they’ve got all the shots of deers they’ll ever need.
Jerry Vacher said that members of the British Institute of Professional Photography, the Master Photographers Association and the Association of Photographers had decided that, with more than four million photographs of deers on websites like FlickR and PhotoBucket, and a further million available from commercial image libraries, there was no point in taking any more.
‘We’ve covered every conceivable angle,’ said Mr Vacher. ‘Red deers, fallow deers, muntjac deers; stags, bucks, does, fawns; deers in the morning mist, deers in the fading sun, grazing deers, fighting deers, rutting deers, rotting deers; you name it, we’ve snapped it. If you see anyone taking another photo of a deer, just go up to them and say ‘forget it, mate. You’re wasting your time”
Asked if it was fair to deprive amateur photographers of a popular subject for their hobby, Mr Vacher said there were ‘plenty more fish in the sea. And birds in the sky. Shoot plants or something. Whatever. All I know is, your deer has been done to death. Move on.’
A ‘snapper’ in Richmond Park was in broad agreement with the proposal. ‘I’ve got about 750 shots of deer, why do I need another one? Although, hang on, look at the way that stag’s antlers are being backlit by the setting sun. Hmm, this calls for a Canon EOS 7D Mark II EF300mm f/2.8L IS II USM +2x III with ISO 500 and one-fifteenth of a second on gas mark 5.’