The mystery of Boris Johnson’s success in public life deepened today after it was announced that a large previously undiscovered void has been found between his ears. Doctors discovered the enigmatic gap after a routine scan showed a large cavity in the Foreign Secretary’s cranium where the brain is normally found.
‘In all my years I’ve never seen anything like it’ said Dr Fenton Barnes, who carried out the scan.
‘We weren’t looking for anything in particular but were amazed to find that there wasn’t anything there at all’.
‘The only comparable thing I can think of is when they carried out the post-mortem on Margaret Thatcher and found a large stone where her heart should have been’.
Dr Barnes confirmed that a second more detailed scan of Mr Johnson’s skull has also yielded surprising results.
‘On the second scan we discovered a secret chamber which he hadn’t spotted before’ says Barnes.
‘We hoped that we would get some answers but all we found was the 1964 Beano annual, a black and white picture of Barbara Windsor in a bikini and the complete works of PG Wodehouse’.