May replaces First Sea Lord with ‘Admiral lady’


Theresa May has sensationally sacked First Sea Lord, Sir Philip Jones and replaced him with that woman off the Admiral Insurance adverts. Mrs May said: ‘It’s about time we shook up this world of navy larks and salty old seamen. I believe the Admiral lady’s no-nonsense approach, nice blue trouser suit and her tricorn hat will bring a welcome alternative to all the braided caps nonsense.’

The move has created another headache for the beleaguered PM as there is already a clamour for to have Boris Johnson ‘walk the plank’ after he welcomed the new appointment by saying: ‘Phwor! She’s a real piece of top totty all right … erm … and if anything I have said about this lady’s appointment is subsequently chosen to be taken out of context, then of course, I apologise unreservedly if my comments offended anyone. Particularly the missus.’

Chipchase, hat-tip to YaBasta

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Posted: Nov 10th, 2017 by

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