Ofcom fines all channels over realistic ringtones


A fed up Ofcom inspector has fined all channels for using realistic mobile phone ringtones in soap operas and dramas.
‘My wife and teenage kids watched three hours of soap operas and an hour of some generic crime thriller last night, he said. “That wasn’t bad enough, as I wasn’t paying attention every time a mobile rung on-screen I got up thinking it was mine. It ruined my evening and put me on edge. I kept thinking I was going to be told some moronic member of the viewing public was complaining about something ridiculous that I’d have to investigate.’

The Ofcom ruling suggests that rather using ringtones that are actually available they should have an electronic voice which shouts out “A mobile phone is ringing – but don’t worry it is only on TV”. ‘Mind you,’ the ruling adds, ‘this would only be a short-term solution. Some idiots would probably start to use that as their real ringtone and we’d be back to square one.’

Ofcom also urged broadcasters not to overcome this difficulty with more period drama that don’t involve mobile phones, as there are enough of those already. ‘Oh and they can take this as a warning about doorbells too,’ the inspector told reporters. ‘Just have a character shout through the letterbox ‘He”lo, somebody is at the door on TV not in real life” so I don’t keep starting to get up to see who is at the door. Is that really too much to ask?’

The Home Office has put its backing behind the initiative and has said it is drawing up plans for the death penalty to be introduced for anyone using the following ringtones:

– That bloody Samsung whistle
– That annoying retro-chic ‘old fashioned phone ringing’ that the bloody hipsters like
– Customised recordings of your bloody children shrieking ‘Mu-um, it’s the pho-o-o-one’
– Anything featuring bloody Coldplay

Stanley Mizaru

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Posted: Nov 12th, 2017 by

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