Away from pret a manger
No crisps and no bread
The jumbo pork Jesus is deep fried instead
The starchy bright pink meat’s not in your ‘5 a day’
But a pastry lord Jesus helps you work, rest and pray.
The nutrition is lowing, the pastry it flakes
The mechanically recovered Jesus is better than cakes
I love thee, lard sausage. You’re as good as a pie
You’re still on my breath when morning is nigh.
Be near me, Gregg’s pastries, I ask thee to stay
Open from breakfast ’til the end of the day
Bless all the fat children in diabetes care
And push them to heaven in an XXXL wheelchair