‘Thought for the Day’, Radio Four’s regular morning faith perspective, has been cancelled as regular contributors simply could not think of anything more to say. ‘The slot has been running since December 1939…..we’ve covered just about everything there is to think about, and we have all agreed that there’s just nothing more left to say’ explained a Producer. ‘There’s only so many things you can say about omniscient deities and God-stuff’.
‘Only so many slants you can think of to promote the belief and worship of gods, only so many quotes you can lift from the Bible or one of those other dinky faith books and only so many ways to say that we should all be good to one another …we’re just repeating ourselves now. I’ll be sharing a few thoughts about that worm thing that was on Blue Planet the other night…no ones ever covered that one, well, not in any great depth…but after that, we’re done.’ Instead, the slot will be filled with someone dragging their fingers down a blackboard: ‘It’s not perfect but at least we won’t lose so many listeners’.
‘I for one will certainly miss Thought For The Day,’ admitted John Humphrys. ‘We all need to empty our bladder during the programme and two and a half minutes is just about right….I guess we’ll all just have to wait until Nick Robinson does one of his in-depth interviews to take a dump now’.