Hammond’s ‘non-unemployed’ to build 300,000 homes out of Weetabix

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Chancellor of the Exchequer Phillip Hammond is to announce in the budget speech the building of 300,00 family homes for the benefit of 1.4 million ‘non-unemployed’ labourers using wholly renewable edible breakfast materials. The Chancellor hinted at the proposal by mentioning when interviewed that ‘there are no unemployed’, which came as a surprise to those claiming Jobseekers’ Allowance also causing hysteria throughout several government departments.

It’s understood the houses will be constructed from precision-engineered Weetabix ‘bricks’ with sugar-glass windows and Shredded Wheat thatched roofing; all being eco-friendly, sustainable and tasty with yoghurt.

The new homeowners would be ‘technically employed’ by the government receiving the new ‘Jobsleepers’ Allowance’ as remuneration for the farming, manufacture and perpetual replacement and renewal of the building’s structure, keeping the project ‘viable year-on-year throughout the lifetime of the owner’.

DavidH

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Posted: Nov 21st, 2017 by

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