Christmas Number One spot given to marching band from Ballymena

Details are emerging of concessions that have been given to The DUP following its agreement to end the recent impasse over the Irish border which will now allow Brexit negotiations to proceed to the next phase.

And it looks like it will be another frustrating Christmas for X Factor supremo Simon Cowell, because this year’s winners, boy band Rak Su, will not bag the coveted number one Christmas single slot. Instead it has been promised to the Ballymena Loyal Orange Order Pipe and Flute Band with their rendition of The Sash.

Bandmaster Wilson Nelson, speaking to BBC Radio 1 said: ‘This is great so it is. It will provide a wider platform for Loyalism all over the UK and beyond, and enable us to parade our traditional bigotry and hatred whilst cloaking it with the very thinnest veneer of respectability.’

Other concessions yet to be confirmed involve the immediate dissolution of The Parades Commission and the reintroduction of widespread gerrymandering throughout the six counties.

Meanwhile Downing Street has denied that it has caved in to DUP demands just to ensure they continue propping up Mrs May’s lame duck administration. ‘Ach, will ye catch yourself on there, big lad. Sure thon’s just a load of oul ballicks so it is,’ said newly appointed Number 10 spokesman, Nelson Wilson.

 

Chipchase

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Posted: Dec 9th, 2017 by

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