Large portions of the United Kingdom have been overlaid with a thinnish veneer of a snow-like substance, various social media outlets can exclusively reveal.
In a blow to mainstream media everywhere, news of the unprecedented weather phenomenon has been leaked via Facebook, Twitter and Instagram. The BBC could neither confirm nor deny the reports until they had been corroborated by five separate weather stations across the United Kingdom, and three of those were closed due to poor weather.
The BBC acknowledged the existence of snowmen, but declared that these were not ‘anthropogenic’ snowmen: ‘Naturally occurring snowmen have been recorded as early as the 6th century. And in the 17th Century it used to be so warm in Antarctica that they used to grow strawberries and kumquats, you know…’
Meanwhile the Fortean Times, who have recently opened a Snapchat account, are said to be chasing reports of a mythical rainbow-spewing snow-unicorn with spaniel ears, somewhere outside Reigate.