Council accused of gentrification after Santa’s Grotto sold for redevelopment

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Santa’s Grotto – a Lapland based business that specialises in making dreams come true – has been served notice by Camden Market Management confirmed lawyers.  The Clause family, who have been running the business from the same grotto for over 150 years say that 2017 will be their last year of trading.

Property developers Rueben & Rueben have bought land close to Camden Lock Market where the subterranean grotto sits and will begin redevelopment of the site in mid April.  Planners say the cave will be turned into an underground swimming pool complete with gym, hot pool and cinema complex.

Violence erupted after elves descended on Camden Town Hall to voice their concern at the decision to close the grotto.  Angry elves threw foam bricks and scattered a dusting of fake snow on the pavements which brought the rest of London to a standstill.  Scuffles broke out and one policeman needed medical attention after being punched in the knee.

Traffic had to be diverted away from the market as reindeers mingled with shoppers causing chaos on the high street.  Police tried to arrest Mr.Clause – accusing him of smelling of alcohol and tobacco products – but he escaped over the rooftops on a sleigh.  ‘We have a warrant out for his arrest’ said Police Sergeant Clark Nicholls ‘we can’t have elves and reindeers blockading the high street with Lego bricks and attacking police officers with foam light sabres…we take this sort of thing very seriously’.

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Posted: Dec 17th, 2017 by

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