Elvis impersonator admits 42nd birthday probably his last

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As Elvis impersonator Robert Young enters his 43rd year, his commitment to faithfully mimicking his rock’n’roll idol is visibly taking its toll.  ‘I found it hard to match the King’s 26 stone, but by gorging on 25 hamburgers a day washed down by milkshakes, I finally made it’, he says.

Determined to give a true to life impression of Elvis in his last days, he scrupulously matches the King’s pharmaceutical intake, pill for pill.   ‘It hasn’t been easy, swallowing 47 tablets a day’, says Mr Young,   ‘What with the weird side effects and everything. I had to move next door to a Boots chemist – it’s hard to walk any distance wearing a rhinestone-encrusted outfit three sizes too small’.

There are some minor advantages to being a morbidly obese man with alarming sideburns, however.  ‘I don’t get mobbed and trampled by hysterical female fans like in the old days’, he says. ‘Mind you, I do sometimes get mistaken for the late Cyril Smith, which is a whole new problem in itself’.

Frustratingly, after 42, Mr. Young now have the unenviable task of faking his own death.  ‘It’s not being a recluse that will be difficult, but I’m not looking forward to sharing a room with Lord Lucan, Amelia Earhart and Andy Kaufman.  What will we have to chat about?’

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Posted: Dec 17th, 2017 by

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