Boeing are set to reveal a revolutionary new plane, that has adequate space inside for adults.
Aerospace engineer Chuck Colt Jr, 45, explained how the space required around each seat has for the first time been modelled on a grown-up human, rather than a stunted chimp. ‘When the Wright brothers first flew their revolutionary plane, they complained afterwards of leg cramps and a dry mouth,’ said Colt. ‘But we now realise they only built it to amuse a pet monkey they owned. It had tiny legs and a habit of dribbling, and that’s not necessarily today’s target audience’.
The new plane will now have an area in front of each seat, which is specifically designed to accommodate legs. In addition, the windows have been moved up to eye level, after ergonomists pointed out that people don’t see out of their navels. Further radical design changes were made to the aircraft’s electronics. For instance, the flight attendant call buttons above each seat are now actually connected to something.
Colt also revealed that first class has been modified, so that the seats are now placed throughout the fuselage. This allows wealthy passengers to show off to the poor people next to them, and perhaps even let them have a sniff of their lobster. With adequate ventilation and even the facility to provide condiments with meals, the new plane will greatly reduce flight fatigue and increase customer satisfaction. Ryanair are not expected to place any orders.