Paramedics have confirmed that four people were treated following a random toenail-clipping in Cheshire yesterday. Three of the victims are members of the clipper’s family, while the fourth was walking past an open window and just happened to be ‘in the wrong place at the wrong time’, [read...]
Popular deity, God, has admitted that despite the widespread expression, he doesn’t know a lot of stuff. ‘You hear it all the time; ‘What’s my email password? God knows.’ well, actually I’ve quite a lot on my plate without keeping track of millions of amnesiacs’ [read...]
In a robust riposte to accusations that she was being evasive during Prime Minister’s Questions, Mrs May confounded critics by claiming: ‘I’m rubber you’re glue, words bounce off me and stick to you’. [read...]
Kent Police were this afternoon formally congratulated on the outstanding success of Operation Ploughmans. Speaking from outside Downing St, Prime Minister David Cameron praised the two month operation as ‘a significant contribution’ to Britain’s home economic security. [read...]
Twas the night before Brexit and all through the House
Of Commons, no sex occurred. No hand down a blouse.
The stockings were hung by the chimney with care,
With Gove hung by the neck and the treasury was bare [read...]